Why Prioritizing Your Marriage Matters
“Showing your spouse they are the most important person in your life changes things in a positive way.”
Why Prioritizing Your Marriage Matters—Even in the Chaos of Motherhood
Let’s be honest, mama—when you're juggling backpacks, soccer practice, school lunches, grocery lists, and trying to sneak in a workout or five minutes alone with your coffee or new book, marriage can easily slip down the priority list.
Not because we don’t love our spouse.
Not because we mean to neglect our relationship.
But because...life is a lot.
And if you’ve ever found yourself looking across the dinner table at your spouse thinking, “When’s the last time we actually had a real conversation?”—you’re not alone.
But here’s what I want to gently remind you:
👉 Marriage MATTERS.
👉 Your relationship with your spouse is the MOST important relationship you have—because it’s the center of your family.
👉 And family really is everything.
Yes, your kids need your love, attention, and snacks on demand.
Yes, your health, mental wellness, and personal time are essential.
But so is your marriage—and keeping it strong will bless every other part of your life.
I get it. No one intentionally puts their marriage on the back burner—it just happens. But it doesn’t have to stay there. During those times when I’ve felt connection slipping with my hubby, I remind myself that God may be giving me an opportunity to fortify our connection. The gradual slide apart is actually His amazing prompting to pour back in! It’s not always easy, but I’ve noticed that when I put in small efforts to focus on marital connection, it totally flips the script. We talk to each other more respectfully and cheerfully. We take care of each other more intentionally and thoughtfully. And we’re just plain happier spending time with each other!
Here Are Some Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage in the Middle of Real Life
You don’t need to book a week in the Bahamas (though if you can, DO IT).
You just need a little intentionality. Try starting here:
✅ Schedule “kid-free” check-ins
Set aside 15–30 minutes twice a week to talk without interruptions—no planning logistics, just connecting.
Keep it light or go deep—just make space to see each other.
We like doing couples conversation cards after putting the kids to bed to force conversation when we’re both tired. It gets the ball rolling and takes away the “what should we talk about” pressure.
✅ Create a daily connection habit
Share a morning coffee, end the day with a snuggle, or ask one meaningful question before bed.
We aim for a 6 second hug or kiss before Mike leaves for work in the morning and often try to do a few laps in the driveway after we tuck the boys in bed to recap our days.
(Did you know a 6-second hug can have significant benefits for both the giver and receiver, primarily by triggering the release of oxytocin, often called the "love hormone" or "bonding hormone". This release can lower stress, calm the nervous system, and boost positive emotions. It can also help build safety and connection, reset the day, and even model love for children!)
Small, daily moments lead to deep connection over time.
✅ Text flirtatiously (or just sweetly!)
A midday “thinking of you” or flirty emoji can go a long way in staying emotionally connected.
Bonus: it’s fun and free.
✅ Put a regular date night on the calendar
It doesn’t have to be fancy—a walk, a drive, or takeout on the back porch counts.
The point is uninterrupted time together. Aim for at least once a month.
✅ Speak their love language
A quick back rub, a thoughtful compliment, or tackling a chore they hate—these small acts speak volumes.
Ask them what makes them feel loved. Then do more of that.
✅ Don’t wait for “when it slows down”
Life with kids doesn’t slow down. You have to carve out time now, in the middle of the chaos.
Prioritize your spouse not after the busy season, but through it.
✅ Pray together
This one’s simple and powerful. Praying together invites God into your marriage and anchors your relationship in faith.
My hubby suggested praying together before our “kid-free check in conversations” (see Step 1!) and it has been a game changer for us.
Marriage Isn’t Just Another To-Do
It’s the foundation under all the other pieces of your life. And when it’s nurtured, it strengthens everything else—your kids feel it, your home feels it, and even your own joy feels more complete.
So if your marriage has felt more like a business partnership lately than a love story, don’t beat yourself up. Just start small. Be intentional.
Because marriage matters, and your marriage is worth the effort. Even in the chaos. Especially in the chaos!
Hi, I’m Chrissy Horner!
I’m passionate about helping women curate the healthiest, most joy-filled versions of themselves. Follow Rooted & Refining for healthy recipes, workout suggestions, faith-filled mindset tips, and simple ways to bring more fun into your everyday life. Sign up today!
