Why Moms Need Their Friends
(Even When It Feels Impossible to Find the Time)
“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility. Not an opportunity.”
-Khalil Gibran
We Need Our Girlfriends More Than We Think
Let’s be honest—most moms are stretched thin. Between school drop-offs, laundry piles, and the endless “what’s for dinner?” question, carving out time for girlfriends can feel impossible. But here’s the truth: friendships aren’t just a luxury, they’re a lifeline.
Studies show that spending time with friends literally lowers stress, boosts mood, and even increases life expectancy. One study found that good social ties reduce the risk of early death by up to 50%—that’s as powerful as quitting smoking. Even a quick coffee chat can help you return home calmer, kinder, and more patient with your family. In-person connection has also been shown to help prevent burnout, improve emotional resilience, and give us that spark of joy we sometimes forget we needed.
The bottom line: taking time for friendships isn’t selfish—it’s an investment in your health, your joy, and your family.
Creative, Realistic Ways to Connect with Friends
Connection doesn’t have to mean an elaborate girls’ night out. Here are some fun (and doable) ideas:
Walk & Swap: Take a walk together and bring something to trade—like a book you loved, a candle, or even leftovers.
Cook Together: Pick a new Rooted & Refining recipe and cook it side by side—half the fun is chatting in the kitchen. Double the recipe—half goes to her fridge or freezer, half to yours. Connection + productivity!
Workout Dates: Try a yoga class, a dance workout, or even a living-room YouTube session together. Or sign up for a fun run side by side.
Chore Dates: Tackle mundane tasks together—fold laundry, meal prep, or clean out a closet while catching up.
Errand Meet-Up: Grocery shop or run errands side-by-side. Even pushing carts through Target together feels more fun.
Friendship Sabbatical: Block a whole morning once a month—whether it’s thrifting, hiking, or sitting in a coffee shop for hours.
Creative Nights: Host a craft night, candle-pouring workshop, or vision board evening.
Sunrise or Sunset Moments: Meet at a park or even in a driveway to sip coffee at sunrise or wind down at sunset.
Book or Bible Swap: Bring a favorite book or devotional, share why you loved it, then swap.
Car Chats: Don’t underestimate the power of grabbing coffee and just talking in the car for 30 minutes.
Mini Adventure: Check out a new local trail, farmer’s market, or thrift store—something fresh but not overwhelming.
Faith & Prayer Circle: Meet for prayer or a short devotional—it feeds your soul and strengthens friendships.
How to Actually Make Friend Dates Happen
Even with the best intentions, guilt and fatigue can get in the way. Here’s how to push through:
Put It on the Calendar: If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. Treat it like a doctor’s appointment.
Start Small: Even 30 minutes of connection can refill your tank.
Remember- It’s Not Selfish. It’s Refueling: Remind yourself that your kids benefit from a mom who’s joyful and refreshed.
Use Micro-Moments: Don’t wait for the “perfect” time. Meet in the margins of life—after school drop-off, during sports practice, or while running errands.
Say Yes, Even When You’re Tired – You’ll almost always come home more energized than when you left. But also be honest about energy. It’s ok to tell your friend if you’re tired—maybe a pajama coffee date at home is better than going out.
The Bottom Line
Motherhood is demanding, but it was never meant to be done alone. Friendships remind us of who we are outside of being “mom.” They help you live longer, feel happier, and show up better for your family, and find joy again. Don’t wait for the “perfect time”— send the text, set the date, and show up. Your health, your family, and your heart will thank you!!
Hi, I’m Chrissy Horner!
I’m passionate about helping women curate the healthiest, most joy-filled versions of themselves. Follow Rooted & Refining for healthy recipes, workout suggestions, faith-filled mindset tips, and simple ways to bring more fun into your everyday life. Sign up today!
